INCESSANT DEBACLES IN THE GAME

If Sir Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar is coveted to be the ‘modern God’ of the countrymen then cricket is the religion for that nation. 

And no prizes for guessing.. yes! yes! I’m referring to our very own motherland “India”.

Unlike in real life, in the fantastic world of sports, heart breaking defeats quickly fade to become a part of distant memory; and later gets consigned to the trash bins of history and stat books. Consequently, team India’s horrendous run in overseas tests will get metamorphosed into the dream run as they return with their ammunition in their homeland: reigniting the natives to tag them as “lions in their own den only”.

Batting in the Indian subcontinent, all the players donning the Indian cap will seem to be in “the form of their lives”, and will slip into the garb of “Invincibles”. What’s more, they will demolish one or two hapless teams and the euphoria will hit the roof again.

The entire saga of glory at home and embarrassment away will be seen as part of an intrinsic cycle and the skipper will again mince through words using euphemisms like ‘improvements in the last few months’, ’work in progress’ and so on.

But besides all these things, ’the role of the coach and the support staff’ is the moot point for me.The savant might argue that Dhoni isn’t showing the killer instinct to pounce in test matches, that he is allowing half chances to drift into nothingness; a few others might rue the absence of a true-blue seamer loaded with the gifts of delivering beamers and bouncers almost at will and with absolute ease;with destructive intent and ability to tear apart any batting lineup ;with a knack of picking scalps at regular intervals; and then some may find it irrational not to obey the horses- for- courses policy, and even laugh at the ineffective, ubiquitous spinner whose all mysteries are resolved.

But beyond all that, its high time for at least a couple of players to take charge and play a match winning knock with other batting guns playing second fiddle to them by just rotating strikes, and then taking on the bowlers after settling their nerves and finding their feet moving before undergoing a rough patch.

It’s disheartening to analyse the bowling woes of team India time and again; to demarcate the cut down in pace by the fast bowlers; yet again, coupled with their frailties in accuracy, seam movement and pitching in ‘right areas’. Their inefficiency in hitting the deck hard are signs which should be, of lately, registered by the bowling coach and team management.

The lanky pace duo of Ishant Sharma and Shami Ahmed have flattered to deceive on foreign tracks; while the batsmen with the exceptions of the Kohlis, the Pujaras and the Dhawans still seem to be in terrible discomfort with the devils in the overseas strips which offers extra bounce and lateral movement; leaving them in distress with some chin music. Fielding has always been a department to worry about due to dearth of agility and dynamism among players.

While repair of these intricate damages are hopefully getting looked after, the juggernaut is back in the subcontinent to probably send that no-win recent record deeper in the distant memory by bringing the Midas touch back.

WOMEN CAN BE SEXUALLY AS FREE AS MEN

In the dictionaries, prostitution is defined as an ‘act or practice of engaging in sexual intercourse for money’, but a prostitute can’t be simply a woman who sells her body (money plays a subtle part in all sorts of sexual relationships), since that is done everyday by myriad women who become wives in order to gain a home and livelihood. There are several women in the world who engage in flings with their husbands so as not to be rendered homeless, not to get victimized by domestic violence in negation to their husbands and so on. So for me, prostitution is the act of rendering, non-reproductive sex against payment to the desired clients.

The dangers people vociferate while voicing their discomfort in the legalization of prostitution are that of increase in sexually transmitted diseases, global human trafficking, violent crimes like rapes and homicides. Prostitution is coveted as inherently immoral, commercially exploitative, empowerment of the underworld criminals and it also promotes the repression of women by men. Scientists claim that sex work and psychiatric morbidity are closely associated.

So to wipe off such fears of ‘dangers’, I would love to highlight the title of my write-up. The legitimate prostitution will construct a socially safety valve for single men/women or unhappy married men/women, at a low risk of sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS. This will be ensured because after legalization the government will take appropriate measures towards the health of prostitutes and preventive measures against the diseases as well. The unavailability of registeries/rosters of prostitutes hampers scientific research (that could have been handy to introspect further) and this is because it is considered illicit.

Legalization would suffice with ‘no middlemen, no pimps’ approach and will hence, reduce crime. In the current modern day scenario, slavery, exploitation of vulnerable people and child prostitution are also practiced. These all malpractices can be swayed away from the society by the legalization. When brothels will get legalized then it will tackle with the above mentioned worst aspects of the sex trade; in addition it will also provide access to social and health care.

The regulation of prostitution will increase the tax revenue, help people out of poverty, get prostitutes off the streets, and allow adults to make their own choices, will clear the path for victimless crime and legitimate business just as the institutionalized sex industry does. Strip shows, nude juice bars, massage parlors and saunas, brothels, adult book and video stores, peep shows, live sex shows, sex rings, escort services, mail order brides, street walking and pornography are to name some.

The regulation of prostitution by zoning is a physical manifestation of the same social/psychological stigma that decriminalization advocates allegedly want to avoid. Reflecting the social isolation of those in it, prostitution is often removed from the mainstream. Whether in Turkish genelevs (walled-off multiunit brothel complexes) or in Nevada brothels (ringed with barbed wire or electric fencing), women in state-zoned prostitution are physically isolated and socially rejected by the rest of society.

Last but not the least, I sincerely want to brush away the thoughts people have for prostitution as a threat to the holy knot of matrimony. Sex within a committed relationship is superior to casual sexual contact and the two people start feeling emotionally secure with each other, and this emotional bonding costs no money. These beauties of a committed relationship will appeal to even those who have access to prostitutes. Sex workers provide committed couples a way to gratify needs for sexual variety without risking the emotional attachments arising from sexual affairs.

At the end of the day, let’s accept it: a profession that contributes a whopping 60% towards the economy of Asia can’t be corroded away from the society briskly. So let’s do our bit to at least get prostitution regulated so as to better off the lives of a section of society, who do the hardest job in the world. Let us strive to get them their dues.

THE GOOD LIFE

So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide. It is in these moments of decision after all, that our fortunes are made. Stay quiet because silence/loneliness when accepted is a gift from bounty that will help us in finding our treasure.

But, one of the risks of being quiet is that the other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: you’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck up. You’re judgmental. When others can’t read us, they write their own story- not always the one we choose or that’s true to who we are.

So sometimes, I just sit with myself and recount all the kisses, all the laughs, all the nights and all the days that I’ve squandered. Sometimes, I just sit down to ignite my soul with the passion that sometimes appears lost or disillusioned. Sometimes, I ask myself tough questions and bury my soul with guilt. Guilt of being nice to people who always took me for granted and made me doubt my self-worth, guilt of dreaming about my future life goals, career goals and relationship goals when I see them broken into pieces the day after and, guilt of not succeeding to please everyone I like at all times.

Guilt that terrifies me and you is made up of sixty five percent water.  And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes you can’t even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home. You’ve cried yourself to sleep enough times that you’re down to your last two percent, but nothing is infinite. Not even loss. You’re made of the sea and the stars, and one day you’re going to find yourself again. Trust me.

So be around people who make you feel that you’re always worth a little more and the most beautiful people to be around are the ones with open minds. The ones who will tell you that sorrow is just as wonderful as bliss and that at any moment, you can be whoever you want to be and love whoever and whatever you want to love- whether it is religion or the same sex or drinking or pain. Sit at bars and linger in coffee shops just to find these kinds of people. Without knowing it, they’re slowly changing the world.

Love your partner unconditionally but follow your own unique dreams and goals simultaneously. Find a partner who gets tangled in your dreams and falls into your wishes. Wonder through the depths of your desires, and crawl in to the smallest part of your emotions. Get lost in your goals, and find your way back with the knowledge that your mate backs you. Dance with your secrets and hold hands with your memories, always.

Do what you love wholeheartedly, and money will follow. Clubs get old. Every different weekend, wear a new outfit but make sure that you hang around with the same people. Hold onto them. Stop competing for everyone’s attention. Just pick one out of the lot and stick with him/her. Splurging is overrated. Take that money and build your empire and not just your closet. Stop mistreating those who love you and care. If he or she sees beyond your faults and past, KEEP THEM.

In the end, you only need one man to love you. But him to love you free like a wildfire, crazy like the moon, always like tomorrow, sudden like an inhale and overcoming like the tides. All you need is only one man and all of this.

FEMINISM

Canopy of men cover us, and simultaneously throw all the paint on our face as if we be the canvas. After all, who doesn’t like to be colored? But a deeper question is, who likes to be colored in someone else’s preferred shades? I love blue. My father and all my brothers and all my uncles and all my male friends compel me to splash myself into red because they like it. Shouldn’t I disown them all? They keep an eye on me perpetually to ensure that no one raises their eye over me. Dear men (of this nature), take your eyes off me and you’ll solve half of our problems. Otherwise, rehne do… tumse naa ho paega (leave it… you won’t be able to stop it). We’re innate of a nation where harming a cow is a non-bailable offence and raping a woman has to be proved as an offence first (which takes approximately 7 years in the court) and after this, punishment can be abated on bail.

Feminism isn’t about asking a housewife to work to ‘earn’ a living. It is about allowing the women in your house to make their own choices. It revolves around allowing a wife to go childless if she doesn’t look forward to be a mother and comfort her with the thought that her decision doesn’t make her any less of a woman. It disseminates around those fathers who take fatherhood seriously. They don’t tell their sons, “Don’t be such a girl!” when they shed a few tears or wince in pain. It flings around raising men as human beings with a genderless soul and not as responsibility deprived tumors grown around a penis. It flings from the hearts of those people who don’t mock a girl with hair growth on her body barring head, if she fancies not shaving them off. Feminism isn’t about coercing women to take up sports, or fire on that runway. It’s about countenancing them to be the hell they’re instinctively and pull it off for a lifetime.

And did anyone notice where I ruined that feminism till now? When I say “allowing the women”, “countenancing them” and so on; I make myself sound a hypocrite. Why should they seek for consent?!! They shouldn’t.

More than any other nation, India needs feminism because if a girl can’t cook she shouldn’t have to. India needs feminism because a bride shouldn’t pay (read: dowry) a guy to marry her. India needs feminism because Indian women should realize that you can like a man a whole lot and still turn around and say a NO to him. Remember, a good woman knows her worth. She should know whether there’s any potential of growth together or not.

Above all, it is for the so called fairer sex to cognize that they’ve much more to offer to the world than stay bogged down by not being labelled as pretty or beautiful. Stay faithful yet detached. Stay committed yet relaxed. Love everyone and yet no one. Stay gentle and yet tough. Stay passionate and platonic. In short, stay predictable in your unpredictability. Stay obsessed with becoming a woman comfortable in your own skin.

Conclusively, I apologize to all the women whom I’ve called pretty before calling them brave or resilient. I made it sound like something you’re born with is the most you’ve to be proud of. Being a woman, I’m well aware that your heart must have crushed mountains on so many occasions and you would’ve chuckled on the outside during the trying times. I don’t mean to say that you aren’t pretty but what I mean to establish as a way of life is you’re so much more than that.

A weak man can never keep a strong woman, he doesn’t know what to do with her and a real woman can do it all by herself but a real man won’t let her. A woman who doesn’t ask for anything deserves everything.