So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide. It is in these moments of decision after all, that our fortunes are made. Stay quiet because silence/loneliness when accepted is a gift from bounty that will help us in finding our treasure.
But, one of the risks of being quiet is that the other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: you’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck up. You’re judgmental. When others can’t read us, they write their own story- not always the one we choose or that’s true to who we are.
So sometimes, I just sit with myself and recount all the kisses, all the laughs, all the nights and all the days that I’ve squandered. Sometimes, I just sit down to ignite my soul with the passion that sometimes appears lost or disillusioned. Sometimes, I ask myself tough questions and bury my soul with guilt. Guilt of being nice to people who always took me for granted and made me doubt my self-worth, guilt of dreaming about my future life goals, career goals and relationship goals when I see them broken into pieces the day after and, guilt of not succeeding to please everyone I like at all times.
Guilt that terrifies me and you is made up of sixty five percent water. And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes you can’t even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home. You’ve cried yourself to sleep enough times that you’re down to your last two percent, but nothing is infinite. Not even loss. You’re made of the sea and the stars, and one day you’re going to find yourself again. Trust me.
So be around people who make you feel that you’re always worth a little more and the most beautiful people to be around are the ones with open minds. The ones who will tell you that sorrow is just as wonderful as bliss and that at any moment, you can be whoever you want to be and love whoever and whatever you want to love- whether it is religion or the same sex or drinking or pain. Sit at bars and linger in coffee shops just to find these kinds of people. Without knowing it, they’re slowly changing the world.
Love your partner unconditionally but follow your own unique dreams and goals simultaneously. Find a partner who gets tangled in your dreams and falls into your wishes. Wonder through the depths of your desires, and crawl in to the smallest part of your emotions. Get lost in your goals, and find your way back with the knowledge that your mate backs you. Dance with your secrets and hold hands with your memories, always.
Do what you love wholeheartedly, and money will follow. Clubs get old. Every different weekend, wear a new outfit but make sure that you hang around with the same people. Hold onto them. Stop competing for everyone’s attention. Just pick one out of the lot and stick with him/her. Splurging is overrated. Take that money and build your empire and not just your closet. Stop mistreating those who love you and care. If he or she sees beyond your faults and past, KEEP THEM.
In the end, you only need one man to love you. But him to love you free like a wildfire, crazy like the moon, always like tomorrow, sudden like an inhale and overcoming like the tides. All you need is only one man and all of this.