Notorious Nostalgia

​If we would have lacked the ability of carrying nostalgia then losing someone would’ve been less painful.

Think about this: When you die and stop breathing all at once, I won’t have to cry woefully recalling how you snored which were also “breaths” that I underrated till the time you were alive. As your nostrils would be stuffed with cotton buds to prevent the corpse from bloating, I wouldn’t have to sit there wondering how much sweat you’d drenched yourself in to prevent that belly from bloating. While the mob would embellish your funeral pyre with choicest “flowers”, I won’t have to regret not buying you the most fragrant “flowers” such that you could have blossomed with them whenever I took you to orchards and florists.

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NUMBERS

​Michael hussey started learning cricket at 23 and made his debut at the age of 30. Pravin Tambe starred in IPL at 42 while Brad Hodge continued till 42. Zaheer Khan had started at 17 in the domestic circuit. 


On the other hand, Misbah ul Haq hit his tenth test ton internationally at 42 at Lord’s.

Age is a number, they say. And we should stop minding numbers, they say. But so are the records which are made and the ones which are broken. The birthdays you celebrate, the bills I pay, the salary you receive, the pounds I shed off are all numbers. The most suicidal of them all, marks: yours and mine is a combination of digits as well. 
So compressively, how far will you go to keep them at bay? The answer to this can be numerical too.

Numbers were brought into civilisation so as to ration goods and compare the poverty levels. They are incessantly used significantly while issuing financial budgets and speed of the fastest automobile and such numbers don’t disturb.

However, if I pinpoint the losses you’ve incurred or the time you’ve wasted, you’re motivated enough to rebound; to smash my face in the spiritual channels of “numbers are mindless”. 

THE INCESSANT SAGA

​Whoever I’m bound to meet has a story to tell: that of being cheated and of being wrongly accused, or even molested. It seems like either I come across only exactly half of the world, the one which is victimised and rendered hapless, or else, everyone in this world is a victim to every other thing. If the latter is true, then it can be easily squeezed to one sentence: Everyone just reveals their wounds with sob stories to narrate; and conceals the demons within themselves, the ones which inertly demolish other beings, their passions, hopes and their souls.

JACK OF ALL TRADES

Perhaps, it is good to always be curious and seize. Seize the nuances of a new art form, the precision of an artistically challenged individual and the success mantra of the invincible. Perhaps, if there’s nothing to learn there’s nothing to live for and thereby, nothing to die for.

Coronation of someone as a Jack of all trades has come at the cost of being master of none from times immemorial. Literature dictates how someone holding a sturdy command over myriad arenas falls like nine pins in front of the one who’s immaculate in exactly one thing.

Raising fingers at adages seems cool unless you’re an old school. But bereft of sounding all cool and wayward, let’s derive some logic to counter this one. Putting it across simply, you just CAN’T be a master in one without being a Jack of all trades. Say, you want to hone your skills precisely in cricket. What do you do? Hit a ball all around the park throughout the day? Bowl over to three pale stumps infinitesimally? Definitely not!

You start with athletics. You run and run till you realize that the challenge isn’t to beat anyone else less the little voice in your heart that wants to give up. You boost your stamina this way. Then, you exercise and learn that every push up, squat, lunge and plank are important. Strengthening of core is inevitable. Nutritious diet plan is extremely significant. You toil in the sun, in rain and in storm to push your limits up. Not undermining the fact that you abhor every drop of sweat drenching your body yet you do it all. And ultimately, when you take field after such meticulous efforts, you see the silver lining!

Your throws are now like arrows on the dart board: accurate and quick. Your ball races up with pace too, swinging here and there at will, and the focus and the consistency to hit the deck hard again and again at right areas springs up from under your sleeves like a genie. While batting, your endurance to see the bowlers through under the scorching sun becomes less perturbing and hand-eye coordination notches up as well. And, that’s how winning is done.

You see, for being a Virat Kohli you need not be another Bolt or Tyson. You just need to be a Jack who can run decently and is fairly strong. And this is merely the physical context we’ve covered up by now. High tensile mental strength is a necessary condition to be fulfilled too, if you want to win it big. Soaking up all the pressure like a sponge, battling illnesses at times, overcoming losses of things and people near and dear, humility, benevolence all contribute to your success. One way to achieve this is meditation and from where I can see, probably, the only way.

In addition to this, travelling to different places for various tournaments can be invigorating too if you’re not accustomed to changes and a minimalistic lifestyle. Eventually, a lot of mental, physical and personal training remains an ongoing process throughout the journey.

Conclusively, being a master in one turned out to be a process comprehending sparse parts of an extremely larger universe.

DEPRESSION

Triumphs of glorious battles,

in the silence of chaotic mind rattles;

every vein that brought unfathomable love,

from all parts of the body along with blood.

Fragile fingers bled until numb,

as onlookers’ judgments crumbled me lifeless and dumb.

My lifelong dreams stood for the display rhetorically,

as they called me lunatic quite gleefully.

Those torturous remarks put myself into doubt,

as the chatterers chattered with a fictitious clout.

Breaking my bones with echoes of those verbal jabs every night,

they left my feet trembling with dwindling self confidence under the sun light.

Now, how can I believe that there are places in the world to be crept,

Bereft of the four walled chamber where I just wept and wept?!

And there are things to be done and clothes to be bought,

because life isn’t just a battle; in my mind which I always fought?!

When my bereaved eyes catch the young hearts kissing,

I realize, there is some part of my soul which had gone missing.

But with time, they say everything gets healed,

Sadly, they don’t get that every inch of my spirit against love, is now sealed.

Now daily as I hear the phone ringing,

while declining the call I begin lurching,

Not because it is a wrong number which you’ve been dialling,

but because I’m no longer the person that you’ve been searching.

STORY OF A NARCISSIST

As the nights grew to the darkest skies,
Daily she’d pray, as on the bed she lies.
That someday she’ll wake up to a guy,
Who won’t offer excuses to buy.

“It was you after all”, some had said,
“We’d to give it a try”, others proclaimed.
And it isn’t sweet at the end of the day,
When once you promised her your heart where she could forever lay.

She is self dependent, bold and confident,
Like the one who’s in the dreams of men as the best confidante.
Too much sunshine, they say, to not be felt,
How could the hearts of a million she not melt?!

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Everyone crept into her life to try fitting in the frame,
And cognized that why storms get people’s name.
And that’s when the cowardice among all sets in,
None can now bear the reality that she isn’t like any other mannequin.

She takes her own decisions and voices her views,
And is independent enough to clear off all her dues.
They long for a girl now, who needs dropping back home,
Once after galloping beer after beer she’s out of her own.

They realize that she only looks panoramic from a distance,
And suits a man who is made up of some rare substance.
Till then life keeps on pouring baits,
But now for “the one” she waits.

-D. Sharma

x

The intrinsic life

She sought solace in nature as she marched towards an ancient pond under the night sky. She glanced towards the moon hoping to voice her sob story but found it occupied in reincarnating itself under the calm waters of the pond. She then, turned towards the pond in quench of expressing herself but it was busy alluring the scarred moon. Then, she glimpsed at the sky once more and got glued to the twinkling stars. The stars were hired by the mourners of the deceased and were learning their new names. Names of aunts, uncles, friends, parents and children who’d passed from this unforgiving earth to a place no one knows but few (specially, priests and elderly) will claim they know. Lonely, more than before she felt as none had time for her. “I’m the only person I can depend upon”, she muttered. She drew her feet closer to the hips as she settled on hoarse gravels and got her mind worried with her career, her choices and her life decisions. “Pursuing your passion is never going to be easy but will be worth it”, she’d mugged this one liner for some petty exam to secure good grades a few months back but failed to apply in life when it mattered. Obedience was what her parents expected from her and excellence in academics was what her teachers had wished for her. After all, she’d always been a bright student with keen indulgence in extra curricular activities and sports, but who knew before that volleyball was what her heart had always desired. Dedication towards the sport would mean disobeying her parents who saw an IAS officer in her. “She might be a bit distracted due to hormonal imbalances”, her teachers had cited on learning about this novel vocation. Wincing in pain with her head buried between the knees she wondered, could she disappoint the womb once she homed because of some stupid sport? Nature was still engaged in all those earlier mentioned ordeals and she was scared of the sufferings she’ll have to endure on the path and the people she would be upsetting.
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself and no heart has ever suffered in pursuit of its passion. The ones who genuinely love you will always escort you in your journey even if they are annoyed in the beginning”, chewed the paper which was carved into an airplane that fell nearby under the dim streetlights.
Gleefully, she outstretched her legs on the sands and placed her head on the hard rock and slept soundly. The arena near the pond was considered quite unsafe during the dark hours like rest of the country but in her head she thought, “It is time now for the wolves to know that a lioness sleeps among them”

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GRAVITY

gravity

We all are born out of nothingness, even better from assholes. Humans are deuterstomes which means that at one point of time as a developing embryo we all were nothing but assholes and adjusting the lens’ focus today is like reassuring oneself that some embryos just never developed beyond that stage. Long we’ve heard to the tales of a terrible caterpillar which transformed into a flamboyant butterfly. The caterpillar gang lamented her for changing herself, they wanted her to get back to being that ugly little caterpillar, but she had wings. Such gangs of caterpillars are those assholes who never seek for maturity in life, forget wisdom.

Lo and behold! The whim in the wings of that butterfly. She frees herself from all things that weigh her down, and uses all her brute force to overcome GRAVITY and soars high, up she goes!

Now just look up there and you’ll see so many stars than ever before where the butterfly soared. They burn brighter and they shine longer and they never vanish into your periphery when you turn your head. It is as if they come out for us and to remind us that their light took so long to come to us, that if we never had the patience to wait, to endure, we never would have seen them, tonight, like this.

That as much as it hurts, sometimes it’s all you can do, wait; sometimes bereft of and other times with GRAVITY (graveness)  and keep shining knowing that eventually, your light will reach where it is supposed to reach and shine for whom it is supposed to shine for.

It is never easy, but it is always worth it.

Now look down to within yourselves and voila! You ripped your soul apart to keep others whole. Right from our schooling days, we’re taught that there is a universal force exercised by two bodies onto each other known as GRAVITY. But now that we’ve passed school and seen life through higher focused lenses, I doubt is GRAVITY really such a universal might that it is sufficient enough to keep two bodies together? Rapists, GRAVITY will save you from your next hearing. Cupid, GRAVITY says it is natural to stay together then why you be the God?

Kinematics tells us about the effect of gravity on the sun and the moon. It explains the wonderment with which the sun, the moon and the waves amaze us (namely, the high tide and the low tide). It makes us realize that how much loved the sea is! Probably, this love of gravity is the reason which pulls lovers and beloveds towards it. Perhaps, it is the reason behind people settling down on the loose grains of sands, drawing their feet closer to the hip, wrapping their legs with their own arms and just imagining the aura created by this intimacy through a lover. Perhaps, this love due to gravity is the reason behind serenity even in the maximum cities like Mumbai and Sydney.

But, can GRAVITY explain the art behind sharing naked souls than just bodies, please? Can it confirm to me that “exercising force onto each other” is so lowly human while “sharing each other’s soul, scars and wounds” is divine and beyond any definition any science textbook can offer? If the answer to the latter is in negation, then sorry dear gravity, but I disown you. Maybe, you’ve to go back from where it all started to understand that even your source of origin had an origin from an asshole (we’re talking about the birth of Newton).

To fly high, we’ve to surpass gravity (forget the space shuttles) and just remember the butterfly I mentioned, even she overcomes it. To unite as one rather than just stay together by exercising force, we’ve to defy gravity. To shine brighter than before, we’ve to leave gravity and focus on our more practical actions with endurance and patience. So fundamentally, is gravity even needed to carry out life if all we’ve to do with gravity is plain aversion?

Yes, it is. We can only become great if we surpass something, overcome something, leave something and defy other things. Gravity serves all these purposes and pushes us forward to take that leap of faith and commit fully to whatever we want to do in life, after all even a push is a force!

Conclusively, now just look at the jugadu Indians.  Movie GRAVITY shelled out more bucks than Mangalyaan! Kudos.

One word, many definitions. GRAVITY.

STAY MINDLESS!

There is something far greater than death and that is to be ignored. Sometimes, I think of all the faces I’ve come across and all the faces I’ve forgotten, and how terrible it is to come and go. Imagine meeting someone one day and completely turning a blind eye to their existence the other day. Sadly, this is how we all lead our lives. We only tend to remember the moments that make us feel something and we become oblivion to other times of our lives as life treads on. We all devour only those moments that make us feel like we’re all worth a little more than we were the night before.

In this befitted world of ours, there’re a lot of melodramatic sagas which put on display the mindless people, as I’d call them or the nincompoops, as the world would call them. All of us have moments when we lose track of the present, traipsing off into another world. To a mind focused on the here and now, absent mindedness may seem a negative that holds you back from worldly success. Children are reprimanded for daydreaming and taught the virtues of staying focused. But who says that to be absent minded is to lack in focus?! The absence of mind shall just mean that the mind is meandering through fascinating labyrinths that are invisible to the open eye. Or, that it is focused on something else that is not of this world- an elusive element that we seek to chase, understand, grasp and perhaps bring back into this world as poetry, writing, sketching, a unique thought, a new dance form or a great discovery! It points to a mindlessness that allows us to soak up experiences and knowledge that too much mindfulness of the present reality cannot give us.

Scientists, poets, philosophers and creative people are most notorious for their absent minded ways. Several anecdotes revolve around Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton due to their scattered, oblivious ways. There are multifarious distractions and mind-boggling technology today, so quite cognitively the ‘absent-mindedness’ strikes in novel ways these days. Forgetting where you kept your car keys; having that panicky moment when you think you misplaced your cellphone before you realize you’re talking on it; forgetting why you walked into a room or why you opened the refrigerator or forgetting why you called someone as soon as someone takes the call – are commonplaces to be in.

In The Last Samurai, Nobutada, son of the leader of the Samurai rebellion tells Tom Cruise, “Forgive me, too many minds…” and counsels him that to be a Samurai, he must seek a stillness of the mind “No mind, no mind…” he advises.

When the mind phases out and floats away, it takes away with it any sense of ego. “I” ceases to exist and you float in mindlessness like an empty cauldron ready for new, unique experiences. We no longer see the world so lucidly, though we see more clearly facts and truths hidden from us earlier. Sufis say that in order to reach God in this life, we need to die before we die. Rumi says that in order to open the doors of heaven on earth, we need to melt down ego.

Meditation and sexual climax, when all thoughts shut for a while, are two extreme paths to mindlessness. Osho says, in this mindlessness you become divine. When you become mindless, you unite with the universal flow allowing the right brain to take over. There, at that level, you cannot separate the dancer from dance, artist from sketches and so on. You’re in a unique position where you absorb, understand, discover, become One and create.

Conclusively, there seem to be no fallacy in hanging around mindlessly. Far from considering it a negative, it should be the desirable state that everyone can, or even should aspire to!

WOMEN CAN’T HAVE IT ALL : A REVIEW

indra

WOMEN CAN’T HAVE IT ALL‼

Speaking broadly, I’m just too hardcore a feminist to enunciate my write-up with a title like this one. So quite obviously, the title can’t be a product of my thoughts but the nomenclature of the manufacturer of this thought would probably send an electric spark down to your nerves like it did too mine.

The CEO of PepsiCo India, Indra Nooyi notoriously voiced the above titled emotions while being awarded for her prodigious excellence in one of the ceremonies. At the Aspen Ideas Festival, Colorado when she took over the stage, there were business tycoons and men/women from the press alike in galore bracing themselves up to lend their ears to something worthwhile being stressed upon from the podium. India’s most successful woman entrepreneur, till then, was being viewed by flocks of women as a powerhouse, as the Harry Potter who had got all clandestine revealed about the success mantra, as Sherlock Holmes who had spied long at the mysteries behind being efficacious efficaciously, as Dan Brown who had cracked Da Vinci Code tediously, or simply put as a laborious businesswoman inapprehensive of what her genetic coding (i.e. being a woman) says.

The boss, who is a mother of two, further extended her views, saying that she died with guilt over compromises she had to make to balance career and family life. With a stellar career, £7.3 million salary and a 34 year long marriage, statistics flatter enough to deceive her statements though. She insists that women can only pretend to have it all. She says that every day is a choice that in parallel to being a CEO, shall she be a mother today or a wife. Sometimes, during the day itself the decision has to be amended over again and again.

She had put light on how uncooperative her spouse had been, which fundamentally turned things sour as the onus lied on Indra solely. He nagged every now and then of her work priorities and the time she’d put in work scrupulously. Sadly, he is naïve enough to remain disillusioned that being a spouse of a million dollar baby is feasible with a minimum wage work ethic. Sadly enough, in defiance to Indra Nooyi I would say that ‘no one has it all’ in reality. Ms. Nooyi, trust me, everyone just pretends to have it all. Right from the morning, every day is a choice between whether to stay in bed for a couple of minutes more and laze or to get up a decade of minutes earlier and grind. You just can’t have it all. It is the law of the land, you win some; you lose some.

Wrapping it all up, I would culminate by just hoping that all women get better better-halves over Mr. Raj (Indra’s husband), because settling down for lesser things in life can’t be an option for the ambitious lot of women.